I hope Dr. Murphy is serious about creating more time for students to meditate and reflect. I just wish it would've come earlier in my college career. I feel like my time is completely taken up by being busy and not doing anything of lasting merit. I don't have deep conversations with people anymore because I simply don't have time. I don't have time to compose. I don't have time to read for fun. I don't have time to really read the Bible and reflect on it. I don't have time to sit and really listen to music-- just listen, not type or check email or do homework while I'm listening to music.
I keep telling myself that next half will be different; next half I drop two classes and only add one writing class that won't be that big of a deal. I'll have time then, won't I?" Oh, but I forget about all the concerts and rehearsals and exams and projects, not to mention the forms I need to fill out for loans, graduation, PI, a job after I graduate, etc. I am swamped all the time and I hate living like this. And this has been my life for four years. No wonder I always have a headache or neckache. No wonder I nervously pick at my face-- I am always on edge. And I'm not even as busy as my roommate or some of my other friends. I can't imagine their stress level.
I type this now when I should be preparing for my final exam tomorrow morning. I have practice in twenty-five minutes, and I suppose I shall be up tonight until at least 1 AM, against my will. Lord knows I would be in bed at 11 if I could. But I felt that I needed to write to release some energy, some of the built-up stress. I find solace in knowing that I have two long days of bus riding ahead of me to rest, think, read, laugh, talk, and let this stress melt off me-- only to start the rigamaroll that is choir tour. Yikes. |
Name: Ruthie