I got an email from the sponsoring agency that said Jadson was killed on March 14th in an accident. Here's what the email said: "While riding his bike along with a friend being pulled by a truck; his friend got scared when he saw a bus coming from behind, he jumped off his bike, his bike hit Jadson’s bike and both bikes got stuck under the truck. Jadson was then dragged and pushed by the truck. He broke two legs, ribs and his internal organs were also affected. He stayed in ICU for 4 days but did not survive."
How do I respond to this? The only thing I've felt so far is shock. I never thought I would outlive this little kid from Sao Paulo. I figured the thirty-two dollars I was giving him every month was helping to keep him alive and healthy and educated and all that. I never really considered the possibility that I would have to deal with Jadson's death.
We sent several letters back and forth. I sent him stickers and pictures of me and my family. Jadson said he liked my hair color and he often asked if I had a boyfriend or if I would ever come to see him. He often asked me to pray for his dad to find a job. He always said he loved me and he thanked God for me. I don't think I prayed for him nearly as much as he prayed for me.
Sorry I didn't care more for you, Jadson. Sure, I sent money, but I didn't really care. I was just trying not to alleviate my guilt when a spokesperson for the sponsoring agency spoke in chapel.
Name: Ruthie Home: Japan About Me: I want to know who God is and what his truth is. I love getting lost in beautiful music and cloudless star-filled skies, especially in the fall. I hate being bored. I like big cities. I want to travel the world. read more
Name: Ruthie
I'm so sorry for Jadson's caretakers, parents and your loss. What a blow. Even if one is not invested in his life, it's a blow.
You DID respond by helping. Whether you think it was guilt alleviation or a soft heart. I do NOT respond, but keep the guilt.
HMMMM.
You did make a difference.